Hakkonnak is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, moody fairy.

Hakkonnak created the Cigar Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hakkonnak, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Hakkonnak, it will think nothing of it.

Hakkonnak's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Hakkonnak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Hide if five porpoises approach from the north.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.