Ponmadman is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, dishonourable jackal.

Ponmadman created the Sun nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponmadman, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Ponmadman, he will turn you into a tree.

Ponmadman's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Ponmadman's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about dark energy.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not keep three great tits in a large pit.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about dark matter near rats while wearing pink coats.