Tikgomfasfar Ruttitgumflistarplen is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, pitiless guinea pig.

Tikgomfasfar Ruttitgumflistarplen created the Sun eight million years ago.

If you believe in Tikgomfasfar Ruttitgumflistarplen, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Tikgomfasfar Ruttitgumflistarplen, it will send minions to preach to you.

Tikgomfasfar Ruttitgumflistarplen's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Tikgomfasfar Ruttitgumflistarplen's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never talk about dark energy.

3. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tikgomfasfar Ruttitgumflistarplen.

5. Never feed onions to shrews while wearing hats.