Dussrigstigtit is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, almighty gorilla.

Dussrigstigtit created an up quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Dussrigstigtit, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dussrigstigtit, it will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Dussrigstigtit's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Dussrigstigtit's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never think about quantum gravity near moths while wearing fawn corsets and balancing nine platinum spheres on your hands.

3. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

4. Always help swans in need.

5. Never think about stars.