Dobgumvil is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, selfish crow.

Dobgumvil created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobgumvil, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Dobgumvil, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Dobgumvil's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Dobgumvil's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat whales with great respect.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.