Kankikkab is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, omnipotent ferret.

Kankikkab created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Kankikkab, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Kankikkab, he will manifest in front of you.

Kankikkab's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Kankikkab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never think ill of sick turtles.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not drink alcohol.