Mipcabort is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, compassionate weasel.

Mipcabort created dark matter four years ago.

If you believe in Mipcabort, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Mipcabort, she will destroy your home solar system.

Mipcabort's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Mipcabort's Holy Commandments

1. Learn nine new languages a year.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must pray to Mipcabort six times a day.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Do not hurt birds.