Kemquimrull Gupratvad Nul is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, omnipotent chinchilla.

Kemquimrull Gupratvad Nul created carbon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kemquimrull Gupratvad Nul, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kemquimrull Gupratvad Nul, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Kemquimrull Gupratvad Nul's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Kemquimrull Gupratvad Nul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Never write about chromosomes.

3. Ants are not to be trusted.

4. Put Kemquimrull Gupratvad Nul first in all things.

5. Never think about archaea.