Jonlistmap is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, happy toad.

Jonlistmap created the planet Jupiter five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonlistmap, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Jonlistmap, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Jonlistmap's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Jonlistmap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant red sculpture of Jonlistmap in the centre of the settlement.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Never paint your hands brown.

4. Do not kill porpoises.

5. Never think about black holes.