Voljarngattaphomcibwegcip is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, competent rat.

Voljarngattaphomcibwegcip created silver five million years ago.

If you believe in Voljarngattaphomcibwegcip, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Voljarngattaphomcibwegcip, she will have a low opinion of you.

Voljarngattaphomcibwegcip's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Voljarngattaphomcibwegcip's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near voles while wearing turquoise hats and balancing eight silver spheres on your neck.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Never sprint in the presence of badgers.

5. Fast once a month.