Nurlcabrig is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, humorless clam.

Nurlcabrig created the Sombrero Galaxy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurlcabrig, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Nurlcabrig, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Nurlcabrig's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Nurlcabrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt goats.

2. Run away if eight frogs approach from the south.

3. Do not wear platinum on your body.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never talk about fire.