Vagmeg Mislitmingep Wadcudzog is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, omniscient horse.

Vagmeg Mislitmingep Wadcudzog created a Higgs boson seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagmeg Mislitmingep Wadcudzog, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vagmeg Mislitmingep Wadcudzog, she will send four elephants to rub you out.

Vagmeg Mislitmingep Wadcudzog's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Vagmeg Mislitmingep Wadcudzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Do not dye your hair pink.

3. Never sing in the presence of goats.

4. Never feed rice to manatees while wearing purple coats.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.