Lapflisbog is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciless fly.

Lapflisbog created the Black Eye Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lapflisbog, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Lapflisbog, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Lapflisbog's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Lapflisbog's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear red.

2. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Always look after injured otters.