Figtimarp is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, emotional hyena.

Figtimarp created the Tadpole Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Figtimarp, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Figtimarp, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Figtimarp's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Figtimarp's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

2. You must love Figtimarp.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate monkeys.

4. Never think about cell theory.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.