Faghugdut is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, confident hippopotamus.

Faghugdut created an up quark four billion years ago.

If you believe in Faghugdut, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Faghugdut, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Faghugdut's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Faghugdut's Holy Commandments

1. Foxes are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not take Faghugdut's name in vain.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never think about quantum field theory near dogs while wearing brown rings and balancing seven copper spheres on your arms.