Cipquartjap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, confident unicorn.

Cipquartjap created a top quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cipquartjap, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cipquartjap, it will boil you in a big pot.

Cipquartjap's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Cipquartjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear yellow clothing.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no monkeys in a room before entering it.

5. Always obey Cipquartjap's priests.