Bencabdim is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, selfish hyena.

Bencabdim created Europe six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bencabdim, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bencabdim, he will make you grow a tail.

Bencabdim's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Bencabdim's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Frogs are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Do not keep four pigs in a large pit.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate sharks.