Kadtomcan is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, merciless meerkat.

Kadtomcan created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadtomcan, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Kadtomcan, she will destroy your home solar system.

Kadtomcan's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Kadtomcan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair purple.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in cyan.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near seals while wearing violet dresses.

5. Run away from fawn nematodes, for they are unholy.