Sispagjapvag Nutwottan is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, awesome wren.

Sispagjapvag Nutwottan created the Large Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sispagjapvag Nutwottan, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Sispagjapvag Nutwottan, she will throw large rocks at you.

Sispagjapvag Nutwottan's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Sispagjapvag Nutwottan's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat snails with great respect.

2. Do not dye your hair green.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.