Laknakfat is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, stupid camel.

Laknakfat created silver three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Laknakfat, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Laknakfat, he will torture you forever.

Laknakfat's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Laknakfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always help sick doves.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of platinum.