Mifcepwip Arpwanstrag is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, conceited dryad.

Mifcepwip Arpwanstrag created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Mifcepwip Arpwanstrag, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Mifcepwip Arpwanstrag, he will turn you into a worm.

Mifcepwip Arpwanstrag's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Mifcepwip Arpwanstrag's Holy Commandments

1. Mifcepwip Arpwanstrag must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not take Mifcepwip Arpwanstrag's name in vain.

5. Never talk about quantum field theory near sheep while wearing turquoise dresses and balancing three gold spheres on your face.