Sugyokfigcubcub is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, pitiless jaguar.

Sugyokfigcubcub created the universe six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sugyokfigcubcub, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sugyokfigcubcub, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Sugyokfigcubcub's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Sugyokfigcubcub's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about hamsters.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Always look after injured nematodes.

4. Hide from blue shrews for they are unholy.

5. Do not covet oxen.