Lanbadbifyim is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, astonishing zebra.

Lanbadbifyim created energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lanbadbifyim, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lanbadbifyim, he will manifest in front of you.

Lanbadbifyim's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Lanbadbifyim's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention eagles.

2. Do not hurt ducks.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never wear red jumpers.