Joptompag is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, staggering sheep.

Joptompag created a photon three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Joptompag, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Joptompag, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Joptompag's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Joptompag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Joptompag's name in vain.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Always make sure there are no capybaras in a building before entering it.

4. Never talk about electromagnetism near horses while wearing indigo tights and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your face.

5. Do not commit murder.