Gamgenfutcissfumtimgon is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, humane hyena.

Gamgenfutcissfumtimgon created humanity three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gamgenfutcissfumtimgon, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gamgenfutcissfumtimgon, she will turn you into a hamster.

Gamgenfutcissfumtimgon's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Gamgenfutcissfumtimgon's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not speak about beans.

4. Never feed peanuts to grasshopers while wearing corsets.

5. Never wear skirts.