Gessquartsog is a god.

He takes the form of a small, generous fly.

Gessquartsog created the Sunflower Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessquartsog, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Gessquartsog, he will send minions to preach to you.

Gessquartsog's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Gessquartsog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear titanium on your body.

2. Never think ill of sick sharks.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate capybaras.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not covet oxen.