Pigbimtailpag is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, smart goblin.

Pigbimtailpag created Europe seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pigbimtailpag, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pigbimtailpag, it will destroy your home solar system.

Pigbimtailpag's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Pigbimtailpag's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about cell theory.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Never think about moons.

4. Always wear gray.

5. Do not kill ants.