Vanaffed is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, resourceful mongoose.

Vanaffed created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vanaffed, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Vanaffed, it will turn you into a blue tit.

Vanaffed's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Vanaffed's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Vanaffed's priests.

2. Always help sick bats.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near hamsters while wearing black coats and balancing six carbon spheres on your face.

4. Hide if eight seals approach from the west.

5. Never talk about nebulae.