Kabteenzag Dutvolgamlab is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, dishonourable crow.

Kabteenzag Dutvolgamlab created energy five billion years ago.

If you believe in Kabteenzag Dutvolgamlab, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kabteenzag Dutvolgamlab, he will destroy your home planet.

Kabteenzag Dutvolgamlab's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Kabteenzag Dutvolgamlab's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about stars.

4. Always help manatees.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.