Sandfunsat is a god.

He takes the form of a large, capable walrus.

Sandfunsat created dark energy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sandfunsat, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sandfunsat, he will refuse to believe in you.

Sandfunsat's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Sandfunsat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not sprint in public.

2. Never jump near mites.

3. Never talk about hamsters.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.