Flagrakbass is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, sage naga.

Flagrakbass created a top quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagrakbass, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Flagrakbass, it will jump up and down on your head.

Flagrakbass' most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Flagrakbass' Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not eat spinach.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.