Rillzim is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, loving monkey.

Rillzim created the planet Earth eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Rillzim, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Rillzim, she will make you grow a tail.

Rillzim's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Rillzim's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Erect four carbon sculptures of Rillzim on top of important buildings.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.