Komwipstik is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, generous goose.

Komwipstik created Asia eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Komwipstik, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Komwipstik, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Komwipstik's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Komwipstik's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Feed all hungry manatees.

3. Never feed lots of bread to badgers while wearing pink dresses.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.