Ortwatlad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, effective whale.

Ortwatlad created an electron seven million years ago.

If you believe in Ortwatlad, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Ortwatlad, she will curse you with boils.

Ortwatlad's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Ortwatlad's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Ortwatlad.

2. Do not drink water in cyan rooms.

3. Never sprint in the presence of doves.

4. Always treat geese with great respect.

5. Never play with disobedient children.