Ceploopyarl is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, two-faced walrus.

Ceploopyarl created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Ceploopyarl, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Ceploopyarl, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Ceploopyarl's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Ceploopyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Always help birds.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

4. Never paint your chest pink.

5. You must love Ceploopyarl.