Yamquarthotbogart is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, weak snake.

Yamquarthotbogart created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yamquarthotbogart, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Yamquarthotbogart, he will not care at all.

Yamquarthotbogart's most sacred site is Dommerby in Denmark.

Yamquarthotbogart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Always wear brown.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Never jump in the presence of monkeys.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.