Panvilflis is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, quiet tortoise.

Panvilflis created the Cigar Galaxy two million years ago.

If you believe in Panvilflis, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Panvilflis, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Panvilflis' most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Panvilflis' Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Cats are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.