Lighomwig is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, almighty rat.

Lighomwig created Europe two million years ago.

If you believe in Lighomwig, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Lighomwig, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Lighomwig's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Lighomwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near whales while wearing violet hats and balancing eight nickel spheres on your face.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lighomwig.

3. Learn four new languages a year.

4. Never sprint near birds.

5. Never write about optics.