Fascidjap is a god.

He takes the form of a small, merciless dingo.

Fascidjap created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fascidjap, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Fascidjap, he will cry a lot.

Fascidjap's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Fascidjap's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Erect five silver sculptures of Fascidjap on top of important buildings.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.