Gatlarpsad is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, humorless hyena.

Gatlarpsad created the planet Mars four million years ago.

If you believe in Gatlarpsad, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Gatlarpsad, it will send you a sign.

Gatlarpsad's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Gatlarpsad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Do not keep eight goats in a large pit.

3. Feed all hungry grasshopers.

4. Always help whales.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Gatlarpsad on top of all buildings.