Jenminkam is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unselfish salamander.

Jenminkam created dark matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jenminkam, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Jenminkam, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Jenminkam's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Jenminkam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lentils.

2. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never jump in the presence of swans.

4. Never feed apples to cats while wearing purple ear rings.

5. Never write about quantum field theory.