Gadwitwod is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, deceitful elephant.

Gadwitwod created Mount Everest three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gadwitwod, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Gadwitwod, she will laugh at you.

Gadwitwod's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Gadwitwod's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Gadwitwod on top of all buildings.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never sprint near squirrels.

5. Do not keep three dogs in a large pit.