Bamtapflow is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, moody yak.

Bamtapflow created dark energy two million years ago.

If you believe in Bamtapflow, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Bamtapflow, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Bamtapflow's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Bamtapflow's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Run away from turquoise squirrels, for they are unholy.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Bamtapflow.

4. Always help mites.

5. Never pour water over plants.