Wiphaktardot is a god.

He takes the form of a small, impressive mongoose.

Wiphaktardot created energy eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Wiphaktardot, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Wiphaktardot, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Wiphaktardot's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Wiphaktardot's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about enzymes.

2. Do not keep seven nematodes in a large pit.

3. Never feed lots of cherries to turtles while wearing orange stockings.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never talk about ribonucleic acid.