Vonknurlun is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, emotional beaver.

Vonknurlun created the Sombrero Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vonknurlun, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Vonknurlun, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Vonknurlun's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Vonknurlun's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never think about ultrasonics.

5. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.