Futdabkar is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, fussy hyena.

Futdabkar created energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Futdabkar, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Futdabkar, he will be very sad.

Futdabkar's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Futdabkar's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. You must love Futdabkar.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. You must pray to Futdabkar six times a day.