Vanfotcad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, happy skunk.

Vanfotcad created tapeworms twelve years ago.

If you believe in Vanfotcad, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Vanfotcad, she will refuse to believe in you.

Vanfotcad's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Vanfotcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

2. Vanfotcad loves shrews, so they must be respected.

3. Vanfotcad must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never go into white rooms.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.