Gesssterbap is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, passionate seal.

Gesssterbap created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gesssterbap, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Gesssterbap, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Gesssterbap's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Gesssterbap's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick birds.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.