Govpadbot is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, cheerful dugong.

Govpadbot created the planet Saturn three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Govpadbot, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Govpadbot, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Govpadbot's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Govpadbot's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if eight snails approach from the east.

2. Do not dye your hair orange.

3. You must pray to Govpadbot seven times a day.

4. Hide from pink ducks for they are unholy.

5. Never write about cell theory.