Cusspaghan is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, astonishing manatee.

Cusspaghan created the Black Eye Galaxy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cusspaghan, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cusspaghan, he will turn you into a dog.

Cusspaghan's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Cusspaghan's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Cusspaghan.

2. Feed all hungry nematodes.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics.

4. Retreat if eight moths approach from the west.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.